A Summer Afternoon

Next steps

2007-12-02T12:05:00.000+13:00

1 I'm overwhelmed with all the comments I've had. Thank you all so much!

2 I said I liked the idea of an alphablog. Well I like the idea so much I'm going to do it twice. An alphablog, just an A to Z on life.

And coupled with that, alternately or maybe just intermittently, a travelalphablog (say it quickly!).

I hope I will see you there.

The End

2007-11-30T09:54:00.000+13:00

Wow – I’ve done it. Or should I say, Phew!

There have been times when this has been easy. Entries I have been delighted with, words flowed easily, friendships and relationships celebrated.

At other times this has been really hard. Dissatisfied with particular entries, finding it hard to capture the essence of the person or my relationship with them in just 44 (or more latterly 45) words. Or simply depressing, at times realising that I don’t have anything nice to say about people I’ve known all my life.

But it has always been enlightening. Finding that I don’t have 44 words to write about people I thought I knew well, finding that I could write dozens of entries about other people I thought I didn’t know, remembering how much I care (or don’t), learning new things about myself as well.

About the 200 mark I wondered how I would get to 250 let alone 365. At 300 I realised I would have to cull people from my list. But in the end they culled themselves. And at almost the last minute I remembered people I had forgotten to list!

I have really enjoyed the discipline of writing only a specific number of words, when my natural inclination can be to just write.

What am I going to write about now? I’m tempted to start an Alphablog, along the lines of IB’s Alphabird blog. I cannot pretend to be as masterful as she. But it sounds fun.

Me 365/365

2007-11-30T09:35:00.000+13:00

45 years. Only 45 words to sum up.

I know myself better now than ever before.
I know my failings, my limitations, my struggles.
I know what I’m good at, what I stand for, what I value.

I think I’m okay.

I’m happy with that.

Other x365ers

2007-11-29T10:31:00.000+13:00

IB was the first to welcome me to the x365 family, and the constancy of her presence and encouragement, humour and insight, and that of Bridget, Helen, and Mrs S, has kept me going. They’re part of my day now - long may they keep blogging.

Nicholas 363/365

2007-11-28T16:21:00.000+13:00

He makes me feel old. Maybe the words Great Aunt don’t help. Maybe because I remember his own mother’s birth. Or maybe because I was pregnant when he was also in the womb, and now that seems a lifetime ago another life a different future.

The one and only Susan 362/365

2007-11-27T16:16:00.000+13:00

From the reservation in Canada to diplomatic life, she carried herself with dignity, kindness, intelligence and humour. After my first ever Thanksgiving dinner, we sat on her balcony drinking wine and talking for hours, with Bangkok’s lights glittering around us, the city traffic roaring below.

Chris H 361/365

2007-11-26T12:02:00.000+13:00

Opinionated, hard-working, loyal to a company that wasn’t always loyal to him. He was the reason I left ... I didn’t want to become like him - 50-something, bitter, trapped. I’m glad he has new opportunities, although I miss his terrible toilet humour now he’s in Vancouver.

Zoe 360/365

2007-11-25T16:05:00.000+13:00

Zoe (aged 7) and I (30-something) regularly discussed the latest episode of Changing Rooms. She had amazing taste, flair and such strong opinions for someone so young. I’m hoping that her creativity and renewed enthusiasm will burst through once she’s survived these difficult teenage years.

Lesley 359/365

2007-11-24T15:56:00.000+13:00

An impressive intellect, rational scientist who with grief discovered creativity. We’ve never met, but have much in common. Older women dealing with the thought that we’d forgotten to be mothers till too late. Trying to find logic and reason when life does not make sense.

Julie 358/365

2007-11-23T15:50:00.000+13:00

Infertility, IVF and subsequent ectopic pregnancy she had endured enough already. With rock bottom self-esteem, questioning what it was to be a woman. Too much! Too much too for her husband. He left. Easy for him. She couldn’t. Stuck with her body and her memories.

Amanda No.2 357/365

2007-11-22T15:44:00.000+13:00

We were friendly colleagues in NZ, nothing more. But when she passed through Bangkok, and we met for dinner, we could not stop talking. Our men sat bewildered. My husband, shaking his head, said “I never believed two people could talk non-stop for so long!”

The last Peter 356/365

2007-11-21T12:07:00.000+13:00

Dependable and capable, we became friends those few months we worked together. I felt his betrayal when someone else was appointed. But now he’s much happier, in a company where he’s valued and doing well ... and an important client to me ... It’s who you know …

Dama 355/365

2007-11-20T10:03:00.000+13:00

My roomie those busy three weeks in an apartment in Bahrain. She needed little sleep, 18 hour days meant I got little. We discovered a shared pleasure in camomile tea and a silly comedy on TV before bed, similar working styles, and a fledgling friendship.

Simeon and Ros 354/365

2007-11-19T10:02:00.001+13:00

Simeon and Ros were good friends in Bangkok 14 years ago. We had lots of fun together, but sadly we have lost touch since. An internet search shows he has risen to some heights in his diplomatic service. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

Gorn 353/365

2007-11-18T12:06:00.000+13:00

Spotless apartment, clean clothes, delicious Thai food daily. Teacher turned maid, she had fallen on hard times after divorce, ashamed to tell her family. So I felt conflicting emotions when she left - happiness her family would care for her but selfish regret for my loss.

Charles 352/365

2007-11-17T12:03:00.000+13:00

Fearless practical joker and gossip contrasts his conservative, prematurely aging exterior. His distinguished countenance transformed by his schoolboy humour and mischievous grin. So how can I ever take him seriously when all I can remember is his gluey telephone prank and Ross’s cry of disgust?

Cathy 351/365

2007-11-16T11:48:00.000+13:00

Cathy was fun. But she seemed lonely. Only when I stayed with her did I realise that her best friend was her 11-year-old son, that her whole being was focused on him, and that in doing so she seemed to have lost sight of herself.

Graeme and Supachai 350/365

2007-11-15T09:44:00.000+13:00

Two diplomats at the top of their game, sitting in on a negotiation between them was a master class. I always remembered that lesson with awe and admiration, but only in the last weeks have I realised how much I actually learned from them then.

Penny 349/365

2007-11-14T12:07:00.000+13:00

For 8 years now every time I have seen her I have walked away feeling both excitement and terrible guilt. Whilst I enjoy her, I sometimes feel pressured to do things I don’t want to do. The result? A stressed bank account, but great wardrobe!

Norm 348/365

2007-11-13T10:23:00.000+13:00

I remember his stutter. Our awkwardness always at meeting him, as we had absolutely nothing in common except my sister. He was in our family for at least 14 years, but I have little else to say about him. Who does that say most about?

Jon 347/365

2007-11-12T12:05:00.000+13:00

Young, ambitious, he won his position over someone solid and dependable. But he fitted the image of an achiever. Except he did little, arrived late left early, blatantly sucked up, took credit for others’ work. Didn’t realise that ambitions must be backed up with action.

Marion 346/365

2007-11-11T11:49:00.000+13:00

She wanted my job but I got it instead. So when we developed her career, gave her opportunities, sent her offshore, she enjoyed the prestige, tried to belittle me as thanks. After a while, given her ever-worsening behaviour, Chris nicknamed her the Duchess. It stuck.

Mal 345/365

2007-11-10T15:45:00.001+13:00

When I met him he’d already been ground down, lost the conviction to fight for his ideas, for success. A nice guy, he should have left sooner. But recently I ran into him. A different man. Confident, interesting, enthusiastic, open. Mal's got his groove back!

Another David

2007-11-09T11:26:00.000+13:00

Sexy Scottish accent, good looking, lively, very intelligent. So his big promotion was unsurprising. What was surprising was how quickly his enthusiasm got crushed by the system, by the conservative bullies around him. Already he’s conforming to the world of lesser men. So very disappointing.

2nd to last Peter 343/365

2007-11-08T14:55:00.000+13:00

Surprisingly unsophisticated given his business credentials. I cannot understand how he can sit on the Board of an organisation he does not believe in, openly saying that personally he'll not do business with any company that has been helped by that same organisation.

PD 342/365

2007-11-07T14:52:00.000+13:00

Wonderfully no nonsense, friendly, humble, flexible and adventurous, a marked contrast to the team, he says a lot in a few words and with a deadpan expression, regularly reducing Joe to the giggles. Gems included “cholesterol alley” and our personal favourite “their spirit is crushed.”

Hamad 341/367

2007-11-06T14:49:00.000+13:00

Young, tall and handsome, immaculately turned out, with luscious long dark lashes. He carries a huge responsibility for the education of his country’s youth - one of the few Bahrainis directly involved in the project. He represents them well, maintaining a relaxed manner and friendly smile.

The Team 340/365

2007-11-05T16:08:00.000+13:00

They keep insisting they’re the cream of the crop, NZ’s best, we’re lucky to have them, they’re not there for the money. But they’re defensive, want overtime, and take every opportunity to have an unsubtle dig at the company - don’t they realise we’re their client?

Nicola B 339/365

2007-11-04T15:47:00.000+13:00

She was Head Girl, a few years older than me, athletic, popular, pretty. She showed what could be possible from our small farming community when she won an AFS scholarship and left for a year in Denver, leading the way for me some years later.

Mika 338/365

2007-11-03T15:45:00.000+13:00

I met him at athletics meetings. Tremendously gifted - whatever he tried. Great fun, friendly to all - cool ... or not, adult or child, talented or not. Good looks, great personality. Then he was Neil. Now a big star as Mika, drag queen, musician and consummate performer.

Penny 337/365

2007-11-02T15:45:00.000+13:00

She was the star, I was no competition. With her curly mop of hair, a tiny body and unnaturally long legs, reaching to her armpits, she was unforgettable. With ease, she could leap higher and faster than anyone else in the district, and the country.

Robin C 336/365

2007-11-01T15:41:00.000+13:00

John’s younger brother, he was more open and enormously amusing and engaging, and equally athletically talented. Sharing classes, he was exciting, scary ... such a relaxed attitude towards authority, rules. Years later, another shock when he hit the news, dumping his wife’s body here.

John C 335/365

2007-10-31T15:39:00.000+13:00

He came from a difficult background. We met at the athletics club. He was tall, handsome, and enormously talented. A few years older, with a kind heart, he helped me with the high jump. A crush!
... I later heard he took his own life.

Eric 334/365

2007-10-30T18:07:00.000+13:00

Uncle who struggled with alcohol for many years. After hitting rock bottom, he worked hard for recovery. A quiet man, always a hard worker in a tough job, I was so enormously proud of him when he spoke at his son’s wedding - sober, proud, dignified.

Gavin 333/365

2007-10-29T18:06:00.000+13:00

Only 9 days younger than me, growing up I sometimes believed I was the only one who expected anything of him. A relaxed easy-going attitude categorised him as a loser. I was so proud when he graduated, becoming a social worker and proving everyone wrong.

Joe 332/365

2007-10-28T08:24:00.000+13:00

Another Canadian on our small staff, a long way from home. Joe carries himself with dignity, negotiates his way around egos without being drawn into the battle and focuses on what needs to be done, with good humour, a smile, and a cheap Hong Kong tie.

Ravi 331/365

2007-10-27T17:43:00.000+13:00

Quiet and retiring, there was something about Ravi that attracted a number of kiwi diplomatic women, though Clare won him in the end. Unfortunately though a particular incident at a dinner party is now indelibly associated with his name - an image we can never expunge.

Clare 330/365

2007-10-26T17:43:00.000+13:00

At first meeting she seemed demure and quiet, but I’ve since discovered there is a wonderful, outrageous, fun side to her, and an intelligent questioning mind. A member of our Awesome Foursome along with Carol and Gaynor, now she’s living in London we miss her.

Kay 329/365

2007-10-25T17:59:00.000+13:00

Marie’s daughter, a few years older than me. She was glamorous, dark curls, beautiful, popular, and the best dancer, inventing new steps that always drew enthusiastic applause. At 12 I wanted to be her. She’s still worth looking up to, but for different reasons now.

Paul 328/365

2007-10-24T17:42:00.000+13:00

The first person I have met who was excited about jury duty. “Rev up Old Sparky,” he said, rubbing his hands together with relish! He applies the same enthusiasm to his new life as a diplomatic partner, to his Masters studies, and to beer tastings.

Carol 327/365

2007-10-23T17:41:00.000+13:00

1985. I met her the day of my job interview. She was memorable for her enthusiasm for her job, her friendly nature. She remembers my yellow dress. Wonderfully, she is still the same. I laugh more with her than almost any other person I know.

Miss Page 326/365

2007-10-22T17:53:00.000+13:00

There throughout my school years, she was the tall, plump, asexual and unstylish Home Ec teacher, singer, netball coach, and AFS club organiser. Imagine our surprise when she got married, and had a baby. She seemed so old but was probably only in her thirties ...

Chris 325/365

2007-10-21T18:01:00.000+13:00

In our tiny primary school, for seven years he was 20% of my class. Buddies, we had each other’s backs, like brother and sister. Innately decent, with a cheeky grin. Very different to his brother. I wonder what sort of man you have grown into?

Eula 324/365

2007-10-20T18:01:00.000+13:00

Living evidence that NZ is small. D’s aunt, she once lived across from my Grandmother. Her life was not easy. So her heartfelt note on our wedding, emphasising the importance of trying to understand each other, was more precious than any material gift, lasted longer.

* If anyone's counting, my word count has increased to 45 as of today!

Marjory 323/365

2007-10-19T12:15:00.000+13:00

We met at the gym, and still see each other there regularly in various states of undress. An interesting dresser when clothed, and fellow traveller who became my first client, she is joining our bookclub. I’m hoping to get to know her much better.

Meredith 322/365

2007-10-18T11:55:00.000+13:00

She looks too soft to be a personal trainer. Fit but not toned, no bulging muscles, very feminine. Gives a great massage. She’s the pretty girl next door, and nice to boot. If I could have the perfect body, I would want hers. Sigh.

Alison 321/365

2007-10-17T11:53:00.000+13:00

Fellow gym Ben/Tim victim, she makes me laugh as we bemoan the size of our thighs and fondness for ice-cream, or our aches and pains as those strapping young men put us through our paces. She’s cheerful, active, trendy. Inspiration for when I’m 59!!

Jana 320/365

2007-10-16T11:56:00.000+13:00

She greets me cheerfully every morning when I stagger bleary-eyed and grumpy into the gym. How can she be so cheerful so early? I owe her a huge debt. Jana introduced me to hair straighteners. They changed my life or at least my hair.

Coffee Guy 319/365

2007-10-15T11:58:00.000+13:00

Every morning Toni and I would make a pilgrimage from the office for his luscious lattes. It was obvious he had a crush on her (joining a long queue), but I consoled myself with the free coffee and other sweeties he bribed us with.

David 318/365

2007-10-14T18:03:00.000+13:00

A most important man in my life, there for 10 years and keeps getting better and better. I worry though – every time he’s sick (often). What would I do without him? My spirit depends on his great laugh, my hair on his magic hands.

Bruce 317/365

2007-10-13T12:10:00.001+13:00

It’s taken some time to get to know him - at first I thought he was just another misogynist. But more and more I like him. A good man, understanding how to combine business ethics and friendship. The colleague and friend you’d want to have.

Brendan 316/365

2007-10-12T18:02:00.000+13:00

Another of the duller, less fashionable men, he speaks slowly and calmly and very deliberately, and I feel as if I babble away like a flibbertigibbet in response. An understanding and cooperative client, whilst we are very different we work well and profitably together.

Ken 315/365

2007-10-11T18:00:00.000+13:00

Only his ego, insecurity, and divisiveness made him stand out from the crowd. His own worst enemy, though he didn't seem to realise it - despite having just shot himself in the foot.
A perfect illustration of how important self-awareness really is to us all.

John N 314/365

2007-10-10T16:30:00.000+13:00

Policeman, fisherman, art buff and wine collector. So when Y and he divorced, she got some great wine. It was our pleasure to celebrate with her, with a meaty 10-year-old Jim Barry Armagh and smooth 11-year-old Te Mata Coleraine. Amazing. No hangover either. Cheers!

Yvonne 313/365

2007-10-09T16:21:00.000+13:00

A silent but active child, now making up for lost time. Don’t forget ... you’re allowed to take a breath!

I love that now when the two of us get together, neither of us can shut up long enough to take a breath.
Sisters.
Friends.

Rodger 312/365

2007-10-08T12:33:00.000+13:00

Mary’s husband. Favourite uncle, his strong southern accent and wicked grin fascinated us. A long distance truck driver, it was always exciting when, late at night, we would unexpectedly hear a huge truck pull up at the farm gate and know he was visiting.

Mary 311/365

2007-10-07T12:31:00.000+13:00

Deeply devoted teacher but somewhat of a bully, she had a narrow world view. Hearing I would not be Mrs, she declared the only Ms she knew was a mistress! All my life I heard her rattling cough ... those cigarettes won in the end.

Irene 310/365

2007-10-06T16:36:00.000+13:00

Favourite aunt, Brian’s wife, Diane’s mother. She had a career, she travelled, escaping from our small town to live in exotic places - though even Wellington qualified to me as exotic in those days. Writing this now, I finally realise she was my role model.

Gareth 309/365

2007-10-05T17:33:00.000+13:00

Our ethnic Chinese representative, young graduate, and often the only guy left in the office, he good-naturedly takes a ribbing from the women who surround him. They delight in torturing him with discussions of things - female things - no 23-year-old male should have to hear.

Stephen 308/365

2007-10-04T12:14:00.000+13:00

Younger cousin who grew up nearby. A quiet child, with wonderful athletic talent, I can still see his languid lope as he overtook all other racers with ease. Grew into a man to respect, an adult who knew loss, but found love and happiness.

Ian 307/365

2007-10-03T12:09:00.001+13:00

One of Dad’s many cousins. The only one we knew well. Visits from Ian and his family were always a highlight. So that morning, listening to the list of names of the passengers of Flight 901, it was completely shocking to hear his name.

Maree 306/365

2007-10-02T11:32:00.000+13:00

Unlike her sister, Maree was always cheerful and friendly to me despite our 7-year age gap. Maree had her children very young (though whether too young is debatable). In fact her unexpected pregnancy prompted my mother to deliver the detailed birds and bees talk.

Peter 305/365

2007-10-01T16:11:00.000+13:00

Smoking, drinking, fishing, hunting red-haired uncle. Champion shooter - if my dad ever got a higher score it was cause for awe ... oohing ... aahing. I used to think he was at his best during childhood, but now realise he excelled as father to his stepson.

Uncle Murray 304/365

2007-09-30T16:10:00.000+13:00

I grew up to tales of him, especially when fighting with my sister. We should be thankful we had each other, lectured my mother, your grandmother lost her brother at El Alamein. His siblings were such characters, so different, I wish I’d known him.

Frances 303/365

2007-09-29T16:03:00.000+12:00

She does not remember a happy childhood, taking responsibility for her father, brother and sisters, when her mother was ill or uninterested. So raising us she was determined to do the opposite. She did the best she knew how, and I am very grateful.

Winnie 302/365

2007-09-28T16:01:00.000+12:00

Ray’s wife. Auntie Winnie was very proper and strict, the calming influence on the more ebullient Ray. It was therefore hard to imagine her as the lovestruck teenager who fell in love with her teacher, and was married to him for over 50 years.

Uncle Ray 301/365

2007-09-27T15:59:00.000+12:00

Grandma’s brother, he became a grandfather when ours had gone. Always so pleased to see someone from “his” side of the family, he took an interest in us as individuals, and always always made us laugh. We adored him - he repaid us with love.

Grandma 300/365

2007-09-26T15:57:00.000+12:00

I only saw her in two chairs, with wonky aged knees, struggling to move under her weight, smoking constantly, with gin as consolation in the evening. Yet she never seemed lonely - the telephone connected her to the world. She knew everything happening around her.

Kat 299/365

2007-09-25T17:19:00.001+12:00

Yet another foreigner in our multi-cultural little company, she amuses us with educational tales of moose encounters. Tea breaks become Discovery Channel nature documentaries. The kiwis amongst us delight in picturing her calmly kayaking on a beautiful mountain lake, with enormous moose swimming by!

Neil 298/365

2007-09-24T18:24:00.000+12:00

I’ve only met him a couple of times, but his calm sensible nature has helped me through these last difficult weeks. After dealing with others’ tantrums, pettiness and paranoia, it’s nice to see an academic and educationalist who seems decent, upright, capable and thoughtful.

K 297/365

2007-09-23T18:16:00.000+12:00

CEO of one of our most prominent companies, he has a commanding presence at the Board table, makes quick and decisive questions. But does he miss the point? Doesn’t he realise a small company lacks capacity? Is he prepared to destroy them through greed?

Murray 296/365

2007-09-22T18:16:00.000+12:00

Resplendent in his knitted vest and round tummy, he is ponderous at meetings. Yet as I get to know him better, I see flashes of humour, compassion, and intellect. I start to understand how he has built his company, a following, and world-class reputation.

Rebecca 295/365

2007-09-21T18:30:00.001+12:00

Young, gorgeous, intelligent, and nice to boot. To find her in a conservative engineering company, surrounded by older, duller, far less fashionable men, is somewhat of a shock. Learning she’s won an amazing scholarship, and is now bound for London, is much less surprising.

John 294/365

2007-09-20T17:39:00.000+12:00

Fellow Board member. Father of two highly successful women - feminists, one is a prominent academic and the other a former Cabinet Minister. So you’d think he would understand a little about women’s rights. Yet he rarely “agrees” with me, despite making the same points!

Tamar 293/365

2007-09-19T16:00:00.000+12:00

Our office’s resident Israeli-Kiwi. Love of horses brought her to New Zealand, love of a man saw her take citizenship. Last week Tamar and Jo, Jew and Muslim, chatted about Ramadan, and ate apples and honey to celebrate Jewish New Year. Our own little UN.

Evan 292/365

2007-09-18T15:57:00.000+12:00

It’s a small world. We met working on a Thai project in 1991. 2002 we find ourselves on the same Board. Quiet, unassuming, with a twinkle in his eye, he is the rational, calming voice in our boardroom, on whom I rely so much.

Jo 291/365

2007-09-17T15:57:00.000+12:00

Always efficient, cheerful, sensible. She explained today that Ramadan means no daylight food OR water, and laughed at my horror. She also explained there’s no point in fasting if you’re not praying. And happily refused to ask for any special dispensation during her fast.

Madeline 290/365

2007-09-16T10:46:00.000+12:00

I can’t believe she’s 10 already, still able to remember clearly my shock when her mother announced she was pregnant. She’s a happy, bubbly child, with a great sense of humour. Her hilarious giggles over my “curtain” coat* last Christmas have stayed with me.

*

Nigel No 2 289/365

2007-09-15T10:42:00.000+12:00

He has every NZ male’s dream job, and they are all grateful for his success in winning the bid to host the 2011 Rugby World Cup. His reward? Saying “we won, Prime Minister!” … oh yes … and the next two months in France with Camille.

Margaret 288/365

2007-09-14T21:17:00.000+12:00

Always friendly, always motherly, with a wicked twinkle. larger-than-life personality, for whom everything seemed a breeze. Until, at the tennis court, her three year old wandered out and exlaimed loudly ... “F***!!!!” ... mortifying her mother, but making the day of all the other mothers there.

June 287/365

2007-09-13T21:13:00.000+12:00

Another neighbour, I would get off the bus outside her house. The day after I was offered a lift and more, the police were using me as bait. June would have none of it and bustled me in her car to drive me home.

Laurie 286/365

2007-09-12T21:10:00.000+12:00

A tall and gentle man, parents’ friend and neighbour, just across the railway line. A summer highlight was always looking after his farm when he was on holiday, in his rickety rowdy truck. Then the ultimate reward - loaning his caravan for two week adventures.

Mrs B 285/365

2007-09-11T10:01:00.000+12:00

Cheerful, friendly, adventurous, she took up tramping on retirement. A passionate and meticulous gardener with real talent. Next-door neighbour for 40+ years to D’s parents. Friend to Karl, she made him laugh. Which made an enemy of M. Unnecessarily of course. He misses her.

Russell 284/365

2007-09-10T09:54:00.000+12:00

After two years sharing a house, I mainly have only two memories.

An argument about marital property and divorce.

He cleaned the windows once, but left a bigger mess than when he started because he never read the instructions on the bottle.

Men!

Engineers!

Sarah 283/365

2007-09-09T17:26:00.000+12:00

Our first off-line conversation in a cafe. Uncomfortably, she reminded me of a cousin. Bright, lively, friendly, she didn’t know to keep her voice down. In my town, I was barely ready to discuss this with a real person, let alone shout it out.

Betsy 282/365

2007-09-08T17:16:00.000+12:00

1979: AFS student, she crossed the world from Buffalo to my little school.

2000: Florida, Clearwater Beach. A bar. Drinking margaritas, dancing to Carlos Santana. The joy of reunion banished the nervousness of a 20-something-year separation, to find shared lifestyles - travel, wine, no kids.

Mark No.4 281/365

2007-09-07T12:46:00.000+12:00

An intellectual fascinated with the theory of politics, ideas and principles. He intimidated me. Back then I underestimated the value of the practical applications I studied, of how they influence lives, my life. Yet we were friends as graduate students, tutoring young, innocent first-years.

Richard 280/365

2007-09-06T17:17:00.000+12:00

A supposed academic who gave me a deep suspicion of academics, especially those who had never left the ivory tower. He insisted I completely reverse a position I’d taken. Within 4 weeks of entering the real world I was proved 100% categorically right. Yes!!!

Jacob 279/365

2007-09-05T18:10:00.000+12:00

He supervised my Masters thesis ... or not ... because he spent most of the year away on sabbatical. So I, quite happily, worked alone. Yet his words influenced me, they still do. “What do you want to say?” “Writing simply and clearly is a gift.”

Ron 278/365

2007-09-04T22:21:00.001+12:00

He taught Middle Eastern politics, from a completely different perspective than that we had grown up hearing. But what he really taught us was the importance of questioning what we always thought we knew, of looking at issues from both sides of the fence.

Rob 277/365

2007-09-03T18:24:00.000+12:00

The first teacher or professor who ever said anything that stirred me, that resonated so strongly with my own beliefs that I walked out of that lecture theatre feeling empowered, validated, confident that my long-held ambitions and desires were not a flight of fancy.

Stuart 276/265

2007-09-02T18:24:00.000+12:00

Fellow postgrad tutor. Even then he was recognisable, but he was smart, charming, interesting and decent. So I always get considerable pleasure whenever I see him on TV, read of a successful play, or hear his wonderful voice narrating wonderful words on national radio.

Isabella 275/365

2007-09-01T17:39:00.000+12:00

She shared a due date with someone very special to me who never made it, and so I watch Isabella grow, treasure her little hand in mine and the way she calls me Auntie, and try not to think of the one not there.

Julie-Anne 274/365

2007-08-31T17:16:00.000+12:00

A shared biology and plain bad luck introduced us, but a shared love of travel saw her (and Nick) travel across the world to drink Sauvignon Blanc on our deck and watch the sun go down. How wonderful to meet instant friends that way.

Yvonne 273/365

2007-08-30T12:57:00.000+12:00

Another of the bright girls in my class, also second cousins. At university she found religion, married and had kids, and teaches in a small town. We send Christmas cards now. Her updates on the children, my latest travel adventures. Lives light years apart.

Fiona 272/365

2007-08-29T17:15:00.000+12:00

The classic nerd in the 70s, and my main competition for academic honours. She won in the end of course, with a PhD. Never close at school, a chance meeting as adults without all that teen angst was relaxed and fun, to my delight.

Stephen 271/365

2007-08-28T17:14:00.000+12:00

The littlest guy and class jester ... ouch, our aching sides. So when he couldn’t read the board one day, we were shocked by his tears. Later, he grew out of his long-held plans to become a jockey. I’m hoping life’s disappointments ended there.

Jackie 270/365

2007-08-27T16:48:00.000+12:00

Substitute teacher after Mr M’s heart attack, she was brusque and never really accepted. We laughed at her “one, two, three scissors!” demonstrations when she was teaching us how to hurdle. But her book choice for me at year-end opened new worlds of imagining ...

Jane 269/365

2007-08-26T12:46:00.000+12:00

This was not the exciting career I had envisaged. Fraught with frustrations, I comforted myself buying shoes at lunchtime. Jane, with years more experience and wisdom, smiled and said “shoes won’t help. You’ll save so much more money when you’re happy.” She was right.

Helen 268/365

2007-08-25T12:39:00.000+12:00

Intelligent, friendly, seemingly thoughtful, Mark’s calming influence. But we were the second couple visiting their house outside Bonn, miles from shops or cafes, who were left to starve -- literally -- whilst they went to work. Was it deliberate? Did she never realise? A complete mystery.